habits bad for your self esteem

These five habits are zapping your self esteem

These five habits are destroying your self-esteem



You know what comparison does, it only highlights the glamor and achievements of others and says little about their struggles. This makes you feel like they have got it all together, and you, on the other hand, not good enough.

Social media increases the heat. On Instagram, on facebook, everywhere you turn, people are putting their best lives on the net: vacations, new cars, designer wears, mansions it is hard not to fall into the trap of comparison. Even on Linkedin, people put up a post on career and professional achievements and rarely on setbacks, so the temptation to want to compare our lives, relationships, career, and professional success is very high. It’s easy to play down on your little wins when all you see is that of others. Maybe the grass is greener on the other side, but the good thing is, it does not stop you from growing. So breathe.

Focus on your garden water it and watch it bloom


Trying to please everyone and Seeking Validation

approval validation

You cannot please everyone; you are not ice cream, so dear quit trying. You set yourself for heartache if you think you can win the hearts of everyone. Heck, even ice cream, not everyone likes ice cream. Some are lactose intolerant, so you see Felicia do great at your work but never have to compromise values and happiness to please anyone. See, even if you lay on the ground for people to step on, some folks would still say you are not flat enough, so go figure.

Stop seeking validation from others.

Sometimes, we unknowingly live for the applause of others. Compliments become our drug; we get high on recognition. But the downside to having an unhealthy addiction to pleasing others is that your self worth becomes tied to their approval. What does He think about me? What would they say about this shoe, isn’t it too old? Does he/she like me? Oh, I am such a loser! Seeking approval from others tends to make people lead fake lives. They begin to exaggerate and outrightly lie to impress other people. The urge to overly please others and be accepted is a significant killer of self-esteem.  Take delight in yourself. The people you are trying to please are also people like you. Practice positive affirmation. Learn to see the beauty in yourself.

Remaining in toxic relationships


Toxic relationship

Some relationships do nothing for your self-esteem. Instead, leave you constantly second-guessing yourself, leave you vulnerable, leave you feeling worthless. Physical abuse is not the only reason to flee a relationship but emotional abuse also. The relationship could be platonic, romantic, or familial as long as you are disrespected, abused, or used is not worth it. Such ties negatively affect your self-worth. A lot of people have endured so much mistreatment that they do not know what it feels like to be loved the right way. Never remain with a partner that only pulls you down.

Flee from partners that

Abuse you both physically and emotionally


Give you the silent treatments instead of effective communication.

Gaslight you and exhibit and other narcissistic behaviors that affect your self-esteem.

Laziness and Procrastination

laziness and procrastination

Laziness keeps you from reaching your full potential. Stops you from putting in your best, and hence you get little no result. This affects the way you see yourself, especially when you know you deserve better and should be making more progress. Procrastination can make you flop on significant tasks and sabotage your success.  Left unchecked can lead to the feeling of not being good enough, which negatively affects your confidence and in turn, ruins your self-esteem.

Dreading rejection


We are always afraid to ask because we aren’t afraid of the answer but the feeling of rejection’ – Anna R

‘It is necessary to put yourself out for rejection and accept that you will be rejected’- Robert Genn.

A baby learning to walk after falling numerous times does not stop to think maybe this is not for me, so neither should you.

In our quest for success or happiness, rejection is a must. Wallowing in a pool of self-pity after getting rejected does nothing for you. Miss USA, 2016 Deshauna Barber in her powerful speech ‘, Do not fear failure but be terrified of regret’ Shared the compelling story of how having failed six times in her State pageant went on to win Miss USA in 2016. Constant rejections are not beautiful, and it is tough, but we must never allow it to get to us. Never let rejection to shrink you, dust it off, and keep it moving. 


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