The importance of physical intimacy in a relationship cannot be overemphasized. Romance is an integral part of a marital relationship.
Hence I recommend these three tips to rekindle the spark and add spice to your relationship.
Three Tips to spice and enhance intimacy in marriage
1) Talk about it
Yes, talk, communication is essential. I know talking about intimacy can be overwhelming for a lot of people—fear of vulnerability, fear of rejection, fear of being judged. Very many people are shy and have reservations. These reservations could be because of religious background, heartbreaks, societal expectations.
The first thing you need to know is it okay to be vulnerable with your partner. An exception is if you are in an abusive or toxic relationship. In which case, you should leave or end the relationship and not think about spicing it. Toxic and or abusive relationships are not suitable for your self-esteem. When you are in a healthy relationship, vulnerability gives room for understanding.
Know that you are on the same team, not against one another. So it’s okay to let your partner know your reservations.
Let them in on your fears, are there past experiences that make you wary of romance?
I once read the story of a girl that was tied up, blindfolded, and raped at gunpoint. This event went on to affect her relationship. She would scream and outrightly reject her partner’s attempt at romance involving handcuffs and blindfolds and refuse to tell him why she wasn’t down for it. Her partner, who loved BDSM, always felt like he was getting the short end of the stick. This began to cause rifts in the relationship. Opening up to her partner about her traumatic experience helped him understand why she couldn’t go ahead with it, and together they went for couple therapy, and their relationship is stronger than ever.
Relationships involve a lot of compromises, and being honest with each other, keeps partners aware of situations and help them face it together.
Ask the relevant questions.
How do you like it?
Are we waiting for marriage before sex?
Where do you want me to touch you?
What are your fantasies?
What is your love language?
How often do you want it?
What objects or toys can we introduce?
Ladies, especially in Africa, tend to shy away from intimate discussions so as not to be seen as loose. To enjoy and enhance the intimacy in your relationship, you need to speak up, express to your partner what you want and how you want it. These steps would help the relationship as your partner cannot read your mind. Ladies communicate.
Men don’t assume you know what she wants all the time, so ask. Asking shows the lady you care about her satisfaction also, and it gives her room to express herself and strengthens the intimacy of the relationship.
2) Try new things
Take up new activities together. Be spontaneous, try new positions, switch things up. Initiate intimacy at an unexpected time, not just only at night. Explore new locations, not just in the bedroom. Switch up sometimes use the guest room, the bathtub, the couch, the car if you are feeling extra adventurous.
Also, participate in an intimacy challenge. There is a vast number of physical intimacy challenges that improve bonding among couples. Introduce them to your relationship. There are a lot of stories of how participating in intimacy challenges helped couples rekindle the flame in their relationship world-renowned and strengthen their bond.
While participating is encouraged, it is good to pick activities that you both can enjoy and not just copy what others are doing. Engage in activities you two would enjoy as that is the endpoint of the challenge.
A good example to start with is the seven days of intimacy challenge.
3) Be open to learning and accept corrections
It’s easy to think you have it all figured out when it comes to romance and physical intimacy, especially if you both have been together for a long time. However, this is not the case. Be open-minded enough to discover new ways to make physical intimacy more enjoyable for you and your partner.
Listen to your partner, learn what they love, and make the needed changes where necessary.
Life is all about learning, unlearning, and relearning, including physical intimacy.
So never stop trying to spice up your relationship, read books, listen to experts, and engage in wholesome intimacy building activities.
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